Why embracing a growth mindset is a necessity now more than ever
Let’s leave this isolation period better off than where we started.
If nothing else, 2020 has taught us that even the best laid plans can go astray, nothing is certain, and things can change on a dime. The question is have we learned anything from it? Are we stepping back to comfort? Retreating into fear? Or are we stepping forward and growing from this experience?
“You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety.” — Abraham Maslow
Safety can be a good thing. It motivates us to earn money so we can have a home, food, and security. It cautions us, so we do not put ourselves in harmful situations. Conversely however, it can also hold us back from exploring outside of our comfort zone, learning something new, or living a life more fulfilled.
I should know.
After being a passenger in a car accident, I was hurt so badly that I required reconstructive facial surgery and was in physical rehab for two years. It was difficult for me to feel safe in a car again.
Safety can become the antithesis of growth
Adopting a safety mindset meant I wouldn’t get into a car for months. Of course I soon realised this was not sustainable, I could not live my life avoiding being in cars! So I stepped forward into a growth mindset, i.e. I learned to drive. In fact the only way I could feel safe in a car from that point was by getting behind the wheel and being in control of the car.
Ironic, I know, since we are never fully in control on the road. We can be the safest drivers on the road and all it takes is one drunk driver to run a red light, to create risk and make the roads unsafe.We don’t have control over that.
Still, I admit I stayed in that “safety” mindset for a long time in other ways too: staying in roles that weren’t challenging, in relationships that weren’t healthy, and practising habits that were not good for me.
Safety can help us try to protect ourselves from risk and harm (car accidents), but it can also prevent us from striving to be healthier or happier. The couch becomes safer than a run in the rain, the TV becomes safer than challenging ourselves to learn a new topic, and the cubicle becomes safer than challenging the status quo and asking for a role we really love.
Safety mindset takes over, and if we stay there, it prevents growth, it prevents us striving for and building a life we love.
Safety can be a convenient guise for our actual fears
Fear of failure, of not being good enough, or looking like an idiot in the growth process can stop us from adopting the growth mindset. It can make us want to retreat to the couch, watch the latest episode of our favourite show, and stay put! Don’t get me wrong, sometimes a little downtime is necessary to regenerate, but I also recognise that none of these choices will lead to my growth as a human being.
I live in Munich and a desire to stay in comfort has stopped me from learning how to speak German fluently. First of all, most Germans speak English better than English people! Second, I understand German quite well, I can follow a conversation if I know the context, and I can speak basic German when ordering in a restaurant (really handy in quarantine, right?!), but my vocabulary for spoken German is abysmal.
Is it because I can’t learn it? No. Of course not.
Anyone can learn a new language if properly motivated. It is my comfort that stops me. However by not stepping out of safety and comfort, by not taking the risk of sounding like an idiot periodically, I have stunted my own growth, and any improvements I could otherwise achieve.
“Every person is, in part, ‘his own project’ and makes himself.” — Abraham Maslow
Stepping forward into growth
This year I decided that if I was going to live in Munich again then I would finally learn German. I set up a Babbel account, I set up a language exchange date with a friend, and I started to speak more German. It was going well until March 2020 hit.
After sitting at home for going on six weeks now, it has been really easy to fall back into comfort, and stop learning and growing. I mean I don’t need to speak German to sit at home alone right? It is so easy to stay comfortable right now. It is so easy to stay safe but I have determined I do not want to come out of all this without some growth. I want to keep learning and I want to keep growing.
This social isolation is a rare opportunity for learning and growth.
As we stay safe physically, in health, let’s take advantage of this time by stepping forward and taking risks in our mental and emotional growth.
Down days and lazy days are allowed and necessary, but after weeks of not being able to interact with others, I want to remove any barriers I do have control over. That way — once this quarantine is over — nothing can get in the way of meeting with, and interacting with, others…in German.
You’ll know I really succeeded when I can write an article in German…but hey, give me some time, German is tough to learn, but I am not giving up! ;-)
Instagram: @raj.hayer
