Great news, the planet is healing, maybe it’s time to heal ourselves too.
Quarantine. Basically means we can’t escape ourselves. Every single day since the pandemic began, I have received calls from people experiencing anxiety, and that is not surprising during this unprecedented time. It creates concern for me that people are having anxiety or stressing about things they have no control over. Why?
Because anxiety suppresses the immune system.
Did you know that? I’ll say it again. Anxiety suppresses the immune system. So not only are you feeling stress about things you can’t control but you are also making yourself more vulnerable to getting sick in the process. I don’t want you to do that.
My role is as an entrepreneur and consultant, and I advise businesses and individuals about a range of topics, but always at the end of the day the crucial topics revolve around their emotional and mental resilience. There are many tools out there that can help you manage your anxiety, lots of amazing people are putting out content and tools since this pandemic began, and I wanted to help by sharing some familiar tools that I personally use and have shared with my network, that may help you reduce your anxiety and stress during your time in quarantine.
The first tool and the one I use most often to reduce unnecessary worry is Stephen Covey’s Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence. It is a simple model and easy to apply.
Are you experiencing anxiety?
Our thoughts are our downfall. Worry, stress, and anxiety are all fed by our subconscious which is informed by everything we consume. Every day I have spoken to friends and family who are watching the news, reading social media, listening to each other and allowing panic to settle in. Anxiety is at an all-time high and people are worried.
I have heard many people start to lay blame and accuse others of putting everyone at risk: how can these people still be going outside?; how dare they put us all at risk!; how irresponsible!; I am of high risk with my asthma, what will happen to me?; how can they do this to the healthcare system?; they are the reason my dad won’t get surgery next week!; my parents won’t listen to me and keep going outside!; it’s just a flu, everybody calm down!; this is overreaction; they are not reacting quickly enough; what if I never see someone again?; what if I run out of food?; and so on…
This is not only crushing, but also futile. We don’t know what will happen, how it will happen, how long this will take to run its course. The point here is not whether any of them are right or wrong, whether you agree or disagree, it is about the fact that you can’t control any of it. So worrying helps no one, least of all you. The only thing that this dialogue or placing blame is doing is increasing your stress and anxiety and in the end…other people will still do what they want to do. Trying to control these external factors is exhausting…and it doesn’t work.
Change the things you can, accept the things you can’t, and have the wisdom to know the difference between the two. Our energy can be put to better use. It can be put into looking after yourself and the people you love.
Your Circle of Concern vs. your Circle of Influence
Think of life as two circles.
In one circle we have everything we care about and everything that affects us is the Circle of Concern.
The Circle of Concern includes all the concerns we have for our health, our family, our finances, our work, our business, our healthcare system, and our future. Basically, everything you are, or will be, concerned about. It includes politics, the economy, state of the roads, natural disasters, pandemics, the weather, what people think of us, social media likes, etc.
The second circle is everything we can influence and is called the Circle of Influence. The Circle of Influence contains the things that we have control over, things like our values, our actions, kindness, physical activity, what we buy, books we read, courses we take, what we do in your free time and crucially how we react to the things going on around us.
The Circle of Concern is the larger scope of our lives, everything that concerns us. The Circle of Influence is within the Circle of Concern.
The things we can influence are within our Circle of Influence.
Now here comes the crux of the matter…
When we focus on the Circle of Concern, worrying about things over which we have no control, the more stressed and reactive we become. Anxiety and depression rise, we find ourselves complaining, blaming, accusing, or feeling like victims. In fact the more negative we are, the more we reduce our circle of influence.
When we focus on the Circle of Influence — the problems that we can actually do something about, i.e. ourselves, our own daily behaviour, the decisions we make, the way we react, then the more proactive and the less stressed we become.
Each victory in the circle of influence leads to more influence, e.g. we can influence others through actions of kindness.
How can you reduce unnecessary worry and put your energy to better use?
The key lesson here is that we cannot control what happens to us, especially as we deal with the fallout from this pandemic, but our response to what happens to us is what can ultimately hurt us. And we can control our response.
Stephen Covey defines proactive as “being responsible for our own lives”, i.e. “our behaviour is a function of our decisions, not our conditions [external factors].” It means understanding that we can only control ourselves, our decisions, our actions, our reactions, and to accept we have no control over anyone else. Proactive people focus on the Circle of Influence because they know this is where they can make a difference. Yes we are concerned about all the things in our Circle of Concern, but we can’t control them.
Example in Action: Coronavirus pandemic
In the case of coronavirus, our Circle of Concern is extensive. We care that it is spreading so quickly, we know where it originated, we are angry at our politicians’ responses, we are angry at other people for congregating, we feel sorry that healthcare is under pressure, we are upset that local grocery stores are overrun and we now lack access to toilet paper, and so on.
Our Circle of Influence feels so small but knowing that your immune system is compromised when you are stressed or worried, this is the circle I want you to try to focus on. What can you control? What can you influence? This is how you can potentially increase your impact on your own life right now — even in quarantine. You can control: if you wash your hands; if you socially isolate; if you make sure your children are entertained; if you can educate yourself online; if you can encourage positivity; and if you can be kind to people who need assistance.
If you need to work — you can create a schedule and make sure you take breaks for coffee, for lunch and give yourself an end time, when you can cook a healthy meal and relax
If you need to exercise — you can use the plethora of videos on YouTube for a short work out so you can keep your body moving — engage the family, or your kids to do it with you!
If you are feeling lonely — you can schedule a call with your friends and family, or join one of the online community being created in local areas
If you have anxiety — use apps like Calm and schedule time to meditate
There are so many ideas and so many things to help. *Please share your ideas for maintaining mental and emotional wellbeing in the comments below. We are in this together.*
This is not about ignoring reality, and I understand we are all dealing with exceptional challenges. There is an increased financial strain for many at this difficult time. I have also lost my paying jobs as a freelancer and an entrepreneur, and I imagine those in the services industry are struggling to make ends meet.
For me, using the “Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence” is about understanding that being anxious or stressed will not help me be my best self as I search for solutions to survive. It is about accepting I cannot control the economy, I cannot magically make projects appear, I cannot materialise cash, and there is no point in blaming people or the companies who let me go as they are also doing the best they can. I can only search for new solutions and do the best I can to mitigate my risk.
In our universe there are the things we can influence and things we can’t, things we can control and things we can’t. Focus on the things you can control today to make a difference, and do not give energy to things that are out of your control. Focus your attention and energy in the right direction to increase productivity, efficiency, and reduce your stress and ultimately your anxiety.
There are a lot of things we can control but as we sit in quarantine the outside world is not one of them.
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